"I had a dream that recurred once. The first time I had this dream, my husband was dying but still alive. I was running down various streets and alleys desperately trying to find him. I had this knowing that he was leaving and I needed so badly to try and stop him. Through quick word of mouth it gets to Brad that I am looking for him. Somehow he finds me in this random alley and I run up to him and tell him how much I love him and that I am sorry for everything and that I just want him to come home and we will be a family again and we’ll figure it all out. He don’t say anything but through touch I could get the feeling of him saying - I love you too that’s all I needed to hear, I’ve been waiting to hear that. The next time I had this same exact dream was the day after my husband died. It was the same except the ending. This time when we find each other and I beg him to come home I can sense his pain and sacrifice. He had these cockroaches or something crawling all over his body. He said he wished he could come home but that he couldn’t. That these demons were invasive and hurting me and the kids and that the only way to end it for good was for him to bury them which in tie meant him dying. I didn’t say anything but I cried and I just understood he was right and telling his truth. In real life Brad battled alcoholism and it caused the demise of our marriage although we truly loved each other. He was lost to his addiction and it ended up taking his life. He would refer to his addiction as his demons "